When I was 21, I was gifted Louise Hay’s
‘YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE’ by my amazing boss
when I worked in a studio as a young,
bright-eyed graphic designer.
This was my first ever book on healing or metaphysics and it blew my mind. It was like a whole entire universe opened up for me.
This book landed in my lap around the time I had opened my psychic channels and started doing readings. So the timing was incredible, here I was opening up to what would soon become my life’s deeper calling unfolding right before me and here was a book, I thought, to lead me there.
Never had I come across anything like this, and my god it made so much sense. There was a reason for and a point to every ailment! And, we created it!
And even better - we had the power within us to heal ourselves.
I remember being so rapturously in love with this concept, like a long held truth woke up in me and seduced me again. I was hooked. It truly changed me and my world.
But here's where I ran too far with it : I then went about diagnosing everyone I knew, both verbally to them or just in my head, thinking I knew what was best for them. I also sincerely wanted to help, they were clearly suffering or frustrated and I was convinced I had the solution for them.
I remember going through a phase whenever someone told me they were sick or unwell, I confidently told them that all they needed to do was to say a particular affirmation and you’ll be cured.
In my innocence and naievety, I think I was so blindly in love with this concept that I failed to see how this approach of dispensing affirmations as a prescription was :
a] giving my friends + family the shits, like, really, it was quite rude!,
b] made my friends feel even more broken, and
c] failed to give them useful tools for true healing, empowerment + self-responsibility.
Ultimately what I was doing was teaching them to ignore what the cause of their ailment was and simply ‘talk over it’.
And for anyone out there who knows what it’s like to be talked over when you simply want to speak up [that’s all of us I think!], you know how frustrating it is.
Our bodies are talking to us when we manifest a disease or ailment, then we are simply screaming over its cry for help with : ‘I am perfect, loved and whole’. And it’s not like this isn’t a true statement, it’s just your body doesn’t want to hear this, it wants you to acknowledge its pain.
Your pain or ailment wants your ATTENTION, not your ‘wish’ or ‘desire’ for it.
I mean, if you were a disaster + crying on the floor with a broken heart would you be inspired by someone saying, ‘All is well.’? I think not.
Suffering requires acknowledgement. The shadow ultimately desires deep down to be seen. Pain asks to be witnessed.
So, perhaps what might feel more supportive and conducive to healing would be something like, ‘Oh, I see you are hurting. I know it’s hard. This must be so very painful for you.’ And perhaps even, ‘What is going on for you right now?’ This acknowledges the pain, not glides over it, ignoring it.
And this goes for any bodily ailment or disease, approaching the disease in this way creates a collaboration between what it’s trying to communicate to us and our desire to heal. Because a disease or ailment has a consciousness and it’s trying to tell us something.
Let me also say, affirmations are not evil. They just have their place. And to be even clearer : it’s place is not in situations like this.
So, I believe our beloved Louise Hay got it half right – YES, we create our reality, including our ailments and diseases.. and by understanding the underlying cause whilst opening up deep enquiry around it can be healing - no, sorry, they cannot be simply sorted out cleanly with affirmations.
Pain asks us to break apart with it and collapse [and surrender] into the wild mess of it.
How can I be sure of this you ask? Well, fast forward about 5 years into my path as a spiritual healer + a reader and I was starting to attract a particular kind of client..
I started working with umpteenth clients and fellow practitioners who were in a deeper, more confused mess saying, ‘I’ve done my affirmations 15 times a day for 100 days – why aren’t I better?!’
Why? Because this method was glossing over the truth.
They experienced relief in the first instance and a shift in attitude that didn’t last and it certainly didn’t heal them because the underlying truth was untouched and avoided.
When the affirmations don’t work I’ve seen folks get even more deluded about their situation and reject reality or they feel even more unlovable because they aren’t fixed yet. And that’s not just dangerous but it’s pretty messed up, don’t you think?
What we need to be asking and addressing is this :
What’s the unconscious behaviour that caused this thought pattern that caused this ailment?
What shadow needs to be exposed, what truth needs to be faced + owned?
So my fellow coaches, healers + wellness practitioners - all I’m saying is be wary of any healing practice or technique that asks you to reject or disassociate from reality. This can be harmful despite your best intentions of wanting to assist your clients.
Remember : what we reject will eventually drive us.
What we continue to disown will end up running amok in our lives.
What we repress will express itself, somehow – usually destructively and unconsciously.
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Hi kindred one, I'm Sarah K Jones and I live on the Sunshine Coast, Australia, close to some of the most stunning beaches in the world. I am the creatrix of the Healing Archetypes, devoted mentor to coaches, healers + wellness practitioners, and imperfect mama to a vibrant 3yo lass who constantly keeps me honest. Digitally you can also find me playing on Instagram and Facebook.